The Suffering Artist
How far will you go
In your quest for authenticity?
***
Marathon Man, 1976.
A film in which Dustin Hoffman
Plays avid runner, Babe Levy.
Famously during filming,
Dustin allegedly stayed up all night drinking
And then ran to set in order
To portray the exhausted character authentically.
Only to be confronted by Sir Lawrence Olivier
Who asked him:
“Dear boy, have you ever tried acting”?
Two different actors.
Two different methods.
Both considered great.
***
I really want to get this off my chest.
This is something I’ve been wrestling with for years
And something I’ve been thinking about for my entire career.
The “suffering artist”.
More specifically
Whether an artist needs to suffer
In their life and in their art
In order for that art to be of any value.
Perhaps for an artist to be great,
They have to live a particular way
And possess a huge well of horrid life experiences–
Issues, problems, troubles
That somehow informs and translates in their work.
Or even have had traumatic experiences
That can be drawn upon to
Create more authentic work.
And this is the point.
Authenticity.
Truth.
A really worthy aspiration for an actor.
I think it’s something most actors strive for.
Forgive me,
I’m going to speak for myself in this article.
Maybe it’ll sound strange at times,
But perhaps you’ll be able to relate…
***
Authenticity.
Something I strive for in my life and in my art.
I think giving honest wok
Represents the height of our profession.
And yet, as I’m striving for authenticity
I’m also trying to be a more conscious human.
What I mean by that is someone who
Considers their life
Considers their choices
Considers their actions
And how those choices and actions
Shape my life and the world around me.
This manifests in me being
Very deliberate about my choices and actions
Most of the time...
This stems from working with coaches
And mentors,
People that I admire
That help me better understand myself
And my values
My principles
And what I want to accomplish.
What I’ve noticed is that
When I operate to my set of principles
That I think encapsulate my values
They help me practice living in a way
That I think is beneficial
To my wellbeing
And the wellbeing of those around me…
However!
When it comes to acting…
The characters that I often portray
Don’t share the values that I do.
They may not be as aware
Or as considered as I am.
And lacking that lack self-awareness
They say things I would never,
Behave in ways that I would never,
Or maybe the characters just feel…
Very far away from me.
Willing to do things that I wouldn’t
In order to get what they want.
And I feel caught at this cross-roads.
How can I portray these people honestly,
Authentically
If I haven’t shared their experience?
Because some actors that I see,
One’s I consider to be “suffering artists”–
Give extraordinarily authentic and honest performances.
Heartbreaking.
Moving.
Truthful.
Exciting.
Oscar winning.
And my question is this:
Is it simply because they are great artists…?
Or is it because of their suffering that they are great artists?
So I went searching for answers.
And found Thalia.
She’s a head coach at the Actor’s Dojo in Brisbane.
She specialises in essentially wihat is
Sports psychology… but for actors
And she is doing some extraordinary work in this field.
When I asked her my question…
“Are they great because they suffer”?
She put it like this:
Is their art great because of their suffering
Or
Is their art great in spite of their suffering?
I was floored by this idea.
Truly floored.
Thinking of all the artists that I have ever loved and admired
Phillip Seymour Hoffman,
Robin Williams,
Even Vincent Van Gogh
Artists who experienced suffering in their lives,
Which ultimately led to their demise…
That they didn’t make extraordinary art
Because they suffered…
That perhaps…
They made it in spiteof that suffering.
Thalia went on to point out
The world has been robbed of their life and all potential
Because of their suffering.
We will never see what could have been.
Maybe their best years of work were ahead of them.
And this just made me feel…sad.
Because
God damn it.
The idea of being a suffering artist is so cool.
And there’s the rub.
The idea of it.
The definition of suffering…
“The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship”.
Prolonged suffering = trauma.
Trauma, defined as:
“A deeply distressing and lasting
Emotional response to an experience or experiences,
That overwhelms a person’s ability to cope”.
So… do I really want to suffer
In order to give my work?
Fuck no.
Did any of them?
And I think to myself…
I’ve spent so long romanticising
The idea of being a suffering artist.
Attirbuting greatness to suffering.
Equating value with suffering
Believing that
“In order for my work to be valuable,
I need to suffer for it”.
Ah.
Thank god I got that out.
***
Now.
Where to from here?
So, what’s the solution?
Firstly…
I want to reframe two beliefs.
One:
“I need to suffer in order to give authentic work”.
Two:
“I need to have share the experience
Of the characters I portray
In order to play them truthfully”.
Oh buddy boy.
Firstly…
What an observation.
These are two really solid and ingrained ideas.
Very clear.
Very determined to give great work.
Which in and of itself
A wonderful thing.
But…
They aren’t serving you any more.
For a long career…
For a joyful career…
There’s gotta’ be another way.
So let’s ask:
What’s a more beneficial way of thinking about this?
What language could be more useful?
What beliefs will actually serve me?
So let’s re-phrase.
Play around here…
Word vomit.
Just say shit until it feels like it hits home.
Begin with,
“In order to give authentic work, I need to…”
Ok.
In order to give authentic work I need to be honest.
In order to give authentic work
I need to reserve judgement–
I need to remain open and curious.
In order to give authentic work I need to give myself permission.
Permission to give myself over fully
To the character and to the story.
In order to give authentic work I need to do it my way.
In order to be authentic…
I need to be me.
***
There’s something far more sustainable here.
These beliefs sound far more joyful than suffering.
They feel way more within my control…
Way more energising
Way more in line with my values.
And a clear pattern emerged as well.
I can see from reading that back
That there is only one focus…
The work.
I don’t need to have suffered
In order to portray someone.
All I need to do is focus on giving myself over to my work.
And how this manifests is entirely up to me.
***
The idea of the suffering artist
Remains incredibly romantic to me…
The person locks themselves away,
Smokes a dozen cigarettes,
Drinks till they can’t stand,
While composing the worlds
Next masterpiece…
It sounds so cool.
And if that what works for you,
Amazing.
But it’s not more valuable
Than those artists who have found the ways in which
To live and create sustainably.
The greats:
Meryl Streep.
Denzel Washinton.
Olivia Colman.
Tom Hanks.
Cate Blanchett.
Frances McDormand.
Leo DiCaprio.
Who could possibly suggest these actors
Were anything but wholly dedicated to their craft?
They’ve all given Oscar Winning work
And yet have sustained careers over decades.
How?
By finding joy in their process.
Even someone like Daniel Day-Lewis
Has a process founded on joy
That is incredibly personal to him.
He loves what he does.
That’s why he does it.
It’s not torture to him…
It gives him energy.
It gives him life.
What I might consider to be suffering,
He considers “vital” to his being.
That’s his word – vital.
And through his process
(That remains largely mysterious to me)
He gives astonishing performacnces.
But ultimately, they are just that.
Performances.
And just because my process
May not involve me going out
Building a cabin in the woods to live in
While I shoot The Crucible,
Doesn’t make the work any less valuable.
Who knows, maybe I’ll try it one day…
But at the end of the day…
All that’s all that matters.
The work.
None of the the bullshit around it.
***
The story about Dustin Hoffman from the beginning
Running all night to get in character…
Totally debunked by the way.
On the Inside the Actors Studio
Dustin admits himself,
Letting people believe the former
Makes for a better story
But clarified that he was going through
A painful divorce at the time
And was looking for an excuse to drink and stay up all night.
It wasn’t about the work…
It was about his personal life.
And Olivier was privy to that truth.
***
So,
What’s my advice?
Choose your suffering.
Decide what you are willing to do
In order to give the kind of work you want to give.
Useful question:
What do I need to do
In order to give the most of myself
To this process?
Then give yourself permission
To go out and do that.
And make that process a joyful one.
Because in order for you to be working
Fifty years from now,
The only way I can say for certain
That you’ll be doing that
Is if you’re enjoying what you do.
Have fun out there.
Dx
