This Too Shall Pass

I want to be honest.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but…

These past few weeks

Have been very challenging.

Personally and professionally.

One minute feeling like it’s incredibly quiet

And I have absolutely nothing going,

The next like I’m juggling

A thousand spinning plates while raising a family.

It’s confusing… and at times, chaotic.

Then a week a go I made the insanely difficult decision

To step away from a production.

A production that I know will be incredible.

An amazing team.

An iconic story.

An awesome role.

A role that feels like so much fun.

One that would have seen me employed

For an entire year, nearly—

The most money I’ve ever turned down for a single job.

Yep.

It was a big decision.

One that I poured over for a month.

Then… less than a week after turning that job down,

Another role went begging.

Once again,

I was the director’s choice—

On the list to lead a television series.

Shooting in another state.

Exciting stuff.

And yet,

Once again,

I found myself,

Suddenly off that list.

Radio silence from production.

God, it can feel like a cold industry at times.

And boy…

Did I need time to grieve that one.

Because the last few weeks

My body has been crying out for help.

Crying out for some time.

And so, last week I did.

Took a little time—

What little time I had,

And made a point to slow down

Forget about being an actor for a minute…

And re-set.

To be clear about something:

I’m not sad because I turned down the job.

The decision was almost a relief.

I made that decision

For me and my family.

And when I look back,

On my deathbed,

I know I’ll be proud of that choice.

But it still hurts.

Because there was a time

When I would have accepted the gig

In a heartbeat.

Same as the T.V. series.

I grieved the life that I could have led.

And so…

My friends,

A gentle reminder

From the great Tom Hanks.

“This too shall pass”.

***

Tom was speaking

At an oscars round table, 

Surrounded by 

Oscar winners and nominees—

Male heavy weights of the industry:

Robert De Niro

Shia Lebouf

Jamie Foxx

Adam Driver

Adam Sandler

The group was asked: 

“If you could go back

To your younger self,

What is one piece of advice 

Would you give yourself”?

To which Mr. Hanks responded:

“This too shall pass”

He had barely finished the thought before

 Every. Single. Actor.

Began nudging each other, nodding and laughing.

Collectively acknowledging 

The absolute truth

Of that statement.

Tom wasn’t only referring to feely poorly either. 

“You feel great? 

You feel like you know all the answers?

You feel that everyone finally gets you…?

This too shall pass. 

And just when I thought it couldn’t get more profound,

He finished with:

Time is your ally.

Just wait…

Just wait it out.

Ooft. 

This one hit me like a sucker punch to my chest.

And it got me thinking.

About the moments in my career

Where this advice would have been useful.

Aside from right now,

A few other examples stick out.

I shot a Television series in South Australia

And spent days on set working

With Jamie Dornan.

It felt special. 

It was satisfying. 

It was fun. 

At that moment,

I felt fulfilled.

Because I was doing what I love.

And having a great time doing it. 

Similarly, 

On the next television show.

I found myself sitting in a house with Sam Neil

Chatting about furniture.

What a pleasure. 

Being on set,

I was learning so much watching him.

And every day I got to give my all. 

I loved every moment of it. 

Next thing I know, 

I’m on set working with:

Sam Worthington. 

On a feature. 

What a golden patch. 

And truth be told:

I was really proud of those moments.

But I started to tell myself some stories.

This is it.

I think I’ve done it. 

Things are going to change for me. 

Fast forward a year.

My partner walked into my office

Where I was sitting in a mild state of agony,

Trying to write my next script. 

I’d been sitting there for weeks,

Staring into nothingness.

Having auditioned for multiple roles. 

Despite being close to booking a couple,

I’d heard nothing but crickets.

I felt like I couldn’t book a table

At a restaurant. 

So I’d turned to my second love:

Writing.

But instead of feeling

Free, open and expressive, 

I felt frustrated, angry, exhausted.

The script I was working on, 

Was not working

Everything I’d written…

Months of work

Bound for the trash.

And when my partner looked at the

White board on my wall, 

She made a sound like

“Oh no… is it that bad”?

Immediately

I knew what she was talking about. 

Behind my computer, on my whiteboard,

I’d scrawled in massive block letters:

“THIS TOO SHALL PASS”

For a while, I’d been

Feeling like an absolute failure.

Feeling like a loser. 

Feeling like I’d never be good enough. 

And I needed that reminder.

And some days, 

That’s just how it is. 

And that’s okay. 

***

Why am I sharing this?

What I realise 

Is that those opportunities, 

That breed positive emotions,

Are wonderful.

Something to celebrate

Something to cherish,

Something to be grateful for.

I often need reminding of this…

It’s a wonderful reminder

To find joy in the process.

To make the most of those experiences. 

Because for better or worse, 

Just like the low moments,

The moments like my experience

Over the past few weeks…

They won’t last forever.

Yep,

Those moments need to be grieved.

But on the other side of them

Is the next chapter.

***

When I go back and watch that 

Hollywood actors round table 

I’m reminded in a beautiful way,

That we’re all in the same boat. 

Whether you’re an apex predator, 

Working on Hollywood blockbusters

Or you just shot a short film on your iPhone 

At Grandma’s house…

The fact remains,

We’re all just monkeys

Trying our best. 

Just trying to make it work. 

We’re going to experience

Wonderful moments of joy,

And fall through the depths of despair.

So…

Take the gentle reminder from Tom Hanks:

Feel like a loser?

Feel like a god?

Feel alone?

Feel proud?

Feeling depressed?

Feel like you don’t know the way?

Feel like you’ve cracked the industry?

Feel like all your troubles are behind you?

There will be shit hard times. 

Times when you don’t know what to do. 

When everything feels pointless.

And you are stagnant. 

With no direction.

No oars for you boat.

And all around you feels like a vast ocean.

This too shall pass.

Some days, this is exactly what I need to hear. 

Maybe you need to hear it too. 

Have fun out there.

Dx