Lessons From Sam Neill
I was lucky enough to meet Sam Neill in 2022.
Luckier to see him work.
And luckier still to work with him.
I wouldn’t say we were friends,
We only had a handful of friendly interactions…
Travelling to or from work in the car, reading the paper.,
Sitting on set, in a room talking about
The horrible furniture,
Sitting together at lunch,
And finally, at the Logies.
But when he passed,
I have to admit,
I was heartbroken.
Which… was unexpected.
I guess Sam had that special thing.
Seeing and loving his
Work across decades made
Me truly feel like I knew him…
Despite the brevity of our relationship.
So.
I want to share one conversation
I had with him
Which I think sums up the kind of person he was.
This was, in fact, the lat time I spoke to him.
***
I was at the Logies, a few years back.
I’ll skip all the bullshit about the
Red carpet and nonsense that involves.
That’s for another podcast…
But to give some context,
We’d finished working some months before
And I realised, I may never get the chance
To meet or indeed, work with this man ever again.
So, I finally mustered up the courage to be honest…
To tell him how much working with him meant to me.
It was towards the end of the night,
As they were handing out the final few awards,
In between speeches
I plonked myself next to him at one of our tables.
While we were waiting for the next category to be announced,
I turned to him and blurted out…
"Hey, I was so nervous to work with you and meet you.
Been wanting to say thank you for ages.
And just how much I enjoyed working with you”.
He looked at me, quite puzzled.
“Really…”?
He said.
“Of course, we all did”!
“But no one ever really spoke to me”.
“No, we were all terrified of you”.
“Oh… why”?
“Because you’re Sam bloody Neil”!
He laughed.
“I just thought people didn’t like me…”
I was a little dumbstruck at this…
Because be said this absolutely genuinely.
I just thought people didn’t like me.
I continued…
“My favourite part about working with you,
Was watching your screw up”.
“Oh. Really”?
“Yeah, not the screwing up part…
But you know,
How, you know…”
I realised at this point
I’d had one too many drinks to properly articulate
What I was trying to say…
Despite this, I powered on
“What I mean is…
I love watching how you can hold the room,
Stay present, in your zone…
Keeping the scene, the room and the moment alive”.
“Well, thank you”.
He said,
Hopefully feeling slightly less offended than
When I’d told him I like watching him screw up.
And that was it.
Next minute,
We’re all up on stage
Accepting an award together.
It was very strange, very surreal.
And very special.
And I’m incredibly grateful to
Have been associated with a guy
Who was simply all class.
***
But why am I telling you this?
What’s the lesson?
Or rather…
What the hell was I trying to articulate?
I think it’s this…
Kindness.
The way Sam was able to treat himself
When things didn’t go well,
Is the lesson
And the key to a long career.
He screwed up his lines
LOADS of times.
But never once did I ever see him
Berate himself, or even really get frustrated.
He’d simply pause,
Take stock,
Keep the energy alive
And start again.
Giving himself full permission
To take all the time in the world.
He was kind to himself.
And to those around him.
And damn it if that isn’t
What my grandma taught me was the
Most important lesson in life.
It’s the key to a happy life, really.
And I think that shone through in Sam’s
character and career in all areas.
Particularly in the way he treated those around him.
So…
For you and your career.
Considering this…
How you treat yourself
When things aren’t going your way
Is the strongest indicator
For how long you’re able to continue down
A particular path.
Take the lesson from Sam.
Treat yourself with kindness.
And others.
Because that’s what he was doing,
Even on the biggest stages.
Sam was evidence that
This industry doesn’t need to corrupt you,
It doesn’t need to be painful
And it doesn’t require you to suffer
Or turn you into a jerk
The minute you become “successful”.
He’s was evidence that you, in fact,
Always have a choice.
That you can decide the kind of person
Then prove it to yourself
With little wins.
That to me sounds like a lifetime’s work.
And Sam seemed to do it,
With a smile on his face.
***
Dear Sam,
Thanks for everything mate.
I didn’t realise how much of an impact you’d have on me.
Or the wider acting community
Or indeed, the world.
You were something special.
A real beacon of light
And the world is a little less bright without you.
But it’s good know,
That in some cases…
Meeting heroes
Can be even better than I imagined.
Have fun out there,
Dx
